The Funniest Joke In The Entire World

I found the funniest joke in the world. Here it is: 

Dave was bragging to his boss one day, “You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I know them.”
Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, “OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise?”
“No dramas boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it.” So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise’s door, and Tom Cruise shouts,
“Dave! What’s happening? Great to see you! Come on in for a beer!”
Although impressed, Dave’s boss is still skeptical. After they leave Cruise’s house, he tells Dave that he thinks him knowing Cruise was just lucky.
“No, no, just name anyone else,” Dave says.
“President Obama,” his boss quickly retorts.
“Yup,” Dave says, “Old buddies, let’s fly out to Washington,” and off they go.
At the White House, Obama spots Dave on the tour and motions him and his boss over, saying, “Dave, what a surprise, I was just on my way to a meeting, but you and your friend come on in and let’s have a beer first and catch up.”
Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. After they leave the White House grounds he expresses his doubts to Dave, who again implores him to name anyone else.
“Pope Francis,” his boss replies.
“Sure!” says Dave. “I’ve known the Pope for years.” So off they fly to Rome.
Dave and his boss are assembled with the masses at the Vatican’s St. Peter’s Square when Dave says, “This will never work. I can’t catch the Pope’s eye among all these people. Tell you what, I know all the guards so let me just go upstairs and I’ll come out on the balcony with the Pope.” He disappears into the crowd headed towards the Vatican.
Sure enough, half an hour later Dave emerges with the Pope on the balcony, but by the time Dave returns, he finds that his boss has had a heart attack and is surrounded by paramedics.
Making his way to his boss’ side, Dave asks him, “What happened?”
His boss looks up and says, “It was the final straw… you and the Pope came out on to the balcony and the man next to me said, ‘Who  is that on the balcony with Dave?’

Comedy Central Roast of Rob Lowe Review

I just watched the Roast of Rob Lowe, and like everyone else that watched it, I did it illegally online and not on tv. You can watch it Here.

Like every Roast, it contained Jeff Ross. 

Jeff is called the Roastmaster, because he works in a Starbucks. -Jimmy Carr

 Peyton Manning was there. Apparently, Rob Lowe predicted Peyton would retire 5 years ago. I think, at the time, we were all hoping he would.

Wow, I just realized that I’m not the only athlete up here tonight. As you all know, earlier this year, Ann Coulter won the Kentucky Derby- Peyton Manning

Nikki Glaser (still have no idea who she is) was also there. I don’t know what connection she has with him, but I do know they must have been connected at one point.

Jimmy A. Carr … is what Ralph Macchio has to do to find a place to sleep every night.- Nikki Glaser

Ann Coulter was also there. I’d put a good joke she did down, but I can’t find one. Actually, I did find the one she made about Nikki Glaser pretty funny.

Pete Davidson from SNL was there. For those of you who watch SNL, he’s the guy standing in the background. The most screen time he has in an episode is in the beginning when they show the cast members.

Last year we had Martha Stewart who sells sheets, and now we have Ann Coulter who cuts eye holes in them. — Davidson


And, of course, Rob Lowe was there, and he definitely answered back.

“Peyton’s here tonight to show Zika babies it could really be much worse.” — Lowe. 

Now, I know there were other roasters, but above were my favorite roasts from that night.